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Strips

Under The Covers: The Plots

Tank Girl: Issue #2 of 4, June 1991

Tank Girl comic cover

Writer: Alan Martin, Jamie Hewlitt
Artist: Jamie Hewlett
Cover Artist: Jamie Hewlett
Publication Date: June 01, 1991

Stories:
“The Genius of Peter Duncan”.
“Here Today and Gone Tomorrow”.
“Built Like a Car”.
“Austrailian Job Part 1”. Also in: Deadline #8


Eddie the Cheese (a.k.a. God) was admiring his handywork on Earth. During his visit, his all-powerful dressing gown was stolen.Centuries later the gown is discovered by a school teacher who finds it contains may features including a time-machine (it was God’s after all).

Our teacher’s latest time jump brings him to the Outback; Tanky’s backyard. When Tanky meets the teacher he tells her of the awesome powers of his gown. She accepts the facts and kicks his ass with her unique style. Stealing the robe from the teacher, she tears off a hunk and wraps it around her chest, bra-style. By the power of the gown and a sharp knife she wastes a batch of ninjas who time-warped in search of the teacher.

Next Lucifer appears and demands the powerful gown, although tanky thinks he’s just here to rip of her tank. Ignoring the "powers of good" Tanky quickly trades the robe to Lucy (as she calls the dark lord) for 3 wishes. Her wishes get her a TV spot, con Lucy into charity work, and a giant can of beer.
Not bad, but what about money, clean breath and a shower?

Tanky encounters an Outback artist painting her likeness on cave walls. he tells her of an amazing woman who will conquer the world and develop a huge following. Tanky draws an analogy of this glorious woman to Luke Skywalker. The artist agrees, but says she will not meet a tiny mutant who looks like a scrotum. (I had never seen Yoda as a nut, but I see the likeness).

Tanky awakes on her birthday needing some brew to sap her carpet-mouth. The maffia has seized all brands. releasing their own, Spunk Brew. Bad tasting stuff apparently. Jet Girl & Sub Girl unite to celebrate TG’s B-day. To correct the brew situation, the 3 girls (Baldy-locks and the Vixen Beer Hunters) & Booga descend on Sydney to meet the head of Organized Crime. They hatch a plan to hijack a truck of maffia-seized beer. A single trigger pull on a large RPG, the maffia falls and the "three stinking trollops" make off with 2,000 pounds of lager; all good and ready to get pissed!

 
  • Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, tells Tanky she has "a cute little chest".
  • Tanky and Booga lay in bed taking in some late-night TV and a cigarette.

  • Having removed the harassment stickers from her breasts, Tanky is about to kill some time-traveling ninjas; topless. Oh well. Ran out of pages... until the next issue.
  • "What’s crap and comes in several bloodied pieces? Dismembered ninjas!!", as she knives the lot of ’em.
  • Taking out the final maffia guy, Tanky mashes his head. "Did you see that head come apart?"

  • Someone cut holes in all of Tanky’s bras hoping to find her topless. She outsmarts the situation by applying "emergency harassment stickers" on her breasts. (clever girl...)
  • Using the power of the gown, the teacher transforms his genitals into those the size of a whale. Tanky exposes her chest and the teacher’s blood flow drains to his now enormous wang and he falls from blood loss.
  • Tanky sits wearing pink bra and panty, but who attaches suspenders to underwear?!?

  • When offered 3 wishes, Tanky trades one of ’em for a gigantic can of beer.
  • "Tank Girl, our won sleeping-mutie, is awoken by the kiss of a fresh Australian breeze and the strange smell of stale lager".
  • Spunk Beer - yum or yuk?
  • "We’re gonna do a job. A heist. The biggest, hugest, nastiest, sweat-ridden beer heist in the history of brewing".