Strips
Tall Tank Tales
Tattoo’d 2
The two girls (Tanky and Abbi) stared at one another. Something clicked. Not sure what, but they suddenly experienced a realization - they were both hellions. But they weren’t best friends just yet... if ever.
"You’re buying me a new truck", Abbi stated.
"Put that on our list," Tanky said to Booga, "Our list of shit that ain’t happening this lifetime."
"What a bitch," Abbi muttered under her breath to her friends. They didn’t smile Ð or move a muscle.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
"Apparently you’re a bitch, Honey," Booga clarified.
"Yeah, I heard. Speaking of which... did you hear about the cute blonde whose head wound up on top of a stake?" Tanky replied. "She was a meddling cunt in need of an attitude adjustment".
SLAP!
Tank Girl’s gloved hand made a fast connection with Abbi’s face.
"Ouch! You fucker," she screeched.
"Maybe you want your gun back so you can be a tad more effective in life," Tanky suggested.
This pissing match was going nowhere. The fact that Tank Girl had not killed Abbi was a good sign for the young blonde’s life expectancy.
Just then a hot-air balloon set down not thirty feet from the ensuing argument. A man hopped out announcing he was King of this land and that all citizens were to pay their land taxes in the next ten minutes before he was scheduled to fly to his next kingdom. Reaching into her waistband, as if to get to an itch, Tanky produced a small knife, flung it at the King and he fell silently to the ground.
"Awesome," Abbi cried out with a big smile on her face. "Who wants to fuckin’ fly away with me?"
Booga pulled the knife from the man’s skull, wiped it on the man’s shirt and picked a hunk of hotdog from between his teeth. The balloon looked sound and fun, Booga thought. He climbed into the basket, dumped out a sandbag and slowly began to ascend. Tanky made a quick leap and joined him in the balloon. Abbi, not to be outdone, ran for the rope that was trailing below the rising balloon. She grabbed hold just as Booga fired the flames and the balloon rose higher.
"Where’d that skinny blonde disappear to," Tanky asked.
"Not sure," was all Booga said as he took in the aerial view of the city below.
Dangling from the rope, Abbi pulled herself closer and closer to the basket hanging beneath the balloon. Tiring quickly, she knew she had to get in the basket pronto or fall to her death. She smiled as her hand closed over the top edge of the basket. Her smiling face then appeared over the edge of the wicker gondola.
"There she is!" Tanky exclaimed while simultaneously punching her in the face.
Abbi’s life flashed before her as she felt herself falling. Her body spun, the city lights spun around her gaze and she lost consciousness. Then her foot hurt and her body jarred in mid-air.
Miraculously, her foot became tangled in the trailing rope beneath the basket and was, for the time being, suspending her weight. Booga peered over the edge and took delight that she was alive and that her skirt was askew revealing Abbi’s dislike for wearing panties.
"You have to see this," Booga said.
"Now that’s a twat," Tanky smirked, "Pull her up."
After being hauled over the side of the balloon’s wicker basket, Abbi was groggy to say the least. She didn’t seem aware of any recent events until her eyes jumped wide open.
"FUCK!!!!!"
"You’re certainly dressed for it," Tanky snapped, looking over at Booga.
Abbi regained her composure Ð sort of Ð and the trio began to take notice of their location. Specifically, they were way the fuck-all up in the air with no knowledge of hot air ballooning. One thing was for certain Ð they went up and eventually they would come down. Hopefully they would survive the "down" part of the trip.
Below them they could see an outdoor amphitheater with a large crowd gathered.
"Must be the t.A.T.u. concert," Tank Girl speculated.
"That’s a lot of people who want a tattoo," Booga replied.
"Bunch of twats"
"Don’t like t.A.T.u.," Abbi inquired feeling a bit better than before.
"Nah, like I said... bunch of twats. No talent. Just tits. And not very memorable ones at that."
"Well lets go take a look," Booga said pulling the ripcord on the balloon.
"NOOoooo...."
The balloon began to descend. Fall would be a better description. The cord Booga pulled releases most of the hot air from the balloon and renders it useless as a flying device.
t.A.T.u. (aka those little twats) were jamming through their set as the tri of idiots plummeted towards center stage. Looks like our crew were going to see t.A.T.u. after all!
The plummeting trio began to hear the music louder and louder as they fell. Until there was a final crash which landed them dead center of the sound stage Ð DEAD center.
Tank Girl rose first from the crash with her gun in hand. The crowd roared. They had never see such a spectacle and thought it was a great way to end the show. And end the show it did. The balloon’s basket landed on the t.A.T.u. girls ending both the show and their aspiring career.
The world would get over the grief of this loss (in a matter of minutes) and glom onto the next fad that came along.
Meanwhile, Booga was a bit disappointed that no one wanted to get a tattoo.