Strips
Tall Tank Tales
Tank's pre-birf-day JOURNAL
february 14, 2042
***So as you all may know, and you should if you are worth half a shit...
***think of which... how much is shit worth exactly? Nevah to care, back to the point...*
***Like i was saying, before i so rude-leee interupted myself, My birfday is a comin’ up! Okay, okay, it’s in like 9 1/2 months, but it is still cumin’ up.
N-E-Wayz, Booga came up with a surprise for me. Yup that feeble minded roo came up wid it all himself. So here’s the deal, I am packing all my rags in bags cuz weez are going on a trip. here’s the kicker, booga says we are shooting to mars.
So some how boooga managed to convert my beloved tank into some sorta psuedo space cruiser. He said it jus took a few tweaks here and dere, not to menshun closing the ceremony with some sorta chant involving a bottle of booze!
***I know, I know what you are thinking, no worries fearless reader, he assured me that my precious tank could be returned to original beauty, upon our return to this sludge of a planet.
***he better too, cuz i told him that he would be one fucked up looking kangaroo with no ears*
***so here i am logging all my thought to and fro for my up and coming adventure.
I wonder if it would actually entertain anyone besides myself, but who gives
a fuck that’s what its for... ME
hrm i wonder maybe if it ends up being a good story maybe i can sell it to
some schmuck and make a few bones to stock up on life bread, beer and smokes!
ya moron! ah yes, the oh so new-trish-shun- ul liquid bread. Tested and
approved by yours truly!
so what the hell was i talking about? OH YEAH!...
***these boots, gotta grab the duct tape, a girls second best accessory. First obviously being safety pins!
***timecheck--- booga’s sposed to be here by suns down. that fucker knows I hate waiting!
(moments pass)
***okay i guess i’ll just sit here writing to you worthless saks untill he gets here.
(more moments pass)
***Fucken eh! I got beer, 6 for me, 6 for what’s his name.
(many more moments pass)
***okay my 6 are gone and the soon to be earless booga now has no beer. BUT I
have four more to go!
(many many much more fucking moments pass)
***It’s fucking dark! I should’ve known!
**** hours have passed, at least i think it’s hours (no watch). cents last i wrote I HAVE:
-
CUT MY HAIR, TWICE
SHAVED AN EYEBROW
COVERTED MY PANTS INTO A SKIRT OF SOME SORT
(stitched with those lil twisty ties they use to use on bread, you can find them almost anywhere dese days)
(now it is pitch black dark)
***drew a picture of Booga’s head in the sand, then made detailed plans as to
where exactly his ears should be lopped off.
(noises over a hill...)
****I got my biggest gun out a sec ago (you know the really sexy one with the scope)
i checked the peramiter, but could find nothing cept another twisty tie thingy.
whoever the fuck it is should be forewarned, today is not the day to be
pulling a sneak attack on dear old tank.
(this time only a minute passes)
****here it is practically my birf-day... NO PRESENTS, NO FRIENDS, NO BUZZ
AND NO MORE BEER. At least i have my smokes!
FUCK!!
FUCK!!
FUCK!!
FUCK!!
WHERE THE HELL ARE MY CIGARETTES????
A big fucking BOOM goes in the sky
the brush had been cleared and there is booga standing atop my girl!
Tank had been freshly painted and newly adorned.
****** that booga he spent all that time fixing and reattaching , taping and welding just to make me, a happier tank. what a sap!
Around you could see how he had simulated mars terrain (as best as a dumb kangaroo can) complete with a sand box big enough for two, and those lil plastic castle making buckets.
After much screaming and torpedoeing of beer cans at boogas head...
and then a lil more screaming about how long he made her wait...
some more yelling accusations of him stealing her smokes...
there was a silence, just for a moment though...
tank walked up to him, wrapped her arm round his furry neck and strolled
towards her very own mars.
Taenk: booga, you’re da best....
now lets go see what else that sand box can be useful for.