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2007 Archive of my Ramblings

Below is the archive of random thoughts that crossed my mind in 2007.

View the 2006 | 2007 | 2008 Archives.

2008

May 2008

5/30/08: Fill ‘R Up! I wish I lived in a town where I could skate from place to place and leave my car at home...
Today I paid $4.01 per gallon for gas (low-octane, the cheap crap). The news media is in a frenzy trying to dish out energy conservation tips. Thats super, but why isn't anyone addressing the REASON gas prices are insane?!?

There's no shortage of gas. There's no increased demand. Still the price is skyrocketing artificially and padding the pockets of the oil companies. By the way... the US government is subsidizing these same oil companies. Oil companies are price-gouging and making billion dollar profits, so why the fuck are they being subsidized?!?

I'm all for living green, conservation and all that stuff, but the Bush administration has robbed and fucked-over the American public for 8 years and the fallout will be with us for a long time.

Next time I'm thinking of blowing some money at my local skate shop, I'm going to have to figure in how much it'll cost to fucking drive there. Same goes for getting to my local skate parks.
5/20/08: Cowboys Sacrifice Style to Combat Skateboarding's Anti-helmet Attitude Find me a picture of a pro skater wearing a helmet and I'll bet you $50 its a pic of Tony Hawk. No one wears a helmet when they skate. They should, but it seems the cool-factor outweighs the utility of a healthy skull.

Troxel Helmets come to the rescue offering a melding the style of a western cowboy hat with the utility of a helmet. Now you can giddyap to your favorite skate park or spot and grind the gnar knowing your head will remain intact. Of course there's no way to know how badly you'll be beaten by fellow skaters who think your helmet-hat is... well, below standards.
Want more info on this atrocious cowboy helmet?
5/13/08: Free Shipping? Everyone loves something for nothing - aka: FREE. On the other hand it's said that, "There's no such thing as a free lunch." Enter CCS skateboard mail order...

I received an e-mail from them saying they missed me (Awwwww, how fucking sweet). In fact they missed me so much they wanted to offer me free shipping on my next order. "Sweet", I though since shipping is usually around $10. Or so I thought. Getting back to that non-existent "free lunch" I mentioned, apparently there's no such thing as free shipping either. OK, to be fair they did give me free shipping, but then they tacked on $1,50 for "handling". Wtf!

That must cover the cost of the hand-job they gave me to entice me to place another order. Always support your local skate shop!
5/11/08: Happy Mother's Day! Take your Mom to the skatepark today - she deserves a good time for a change.
5/10/08: Fill'r Up I'd love for someone to explain to me why our government subsidizes oil companies that are making billion dollar profits as the price-per-barrel rises above $120. Didn't Bush start his war to protect our oil supply (and make a shitload of money for himself and friends)? Today I paid $3.75 per gallon for the cheap shit! What the hell is going on?!? Food prices are rising too. Who the fuck can afford to live here? I'd skate to work if it weren't so damn far away.

Going "green" may be the way to go, but that costs even MORE.

April 2008

4/19/08: A Little Bit of "SK8" at the NY Comic Con Aside from the usual nerds who incessantly discuss the benefits of various super-powers (girls now exist in this clique), there were a few exhibitors that used skateboard decks for their artwork.

I found 3 vendors on the floor who had cover art from their latest comic releases stenciled on decks. If you're down with the art and want a one-of-a-kind piece of skart, it's a sweet deal at $100 each. I opted for the budget-conscious route knowing that a hotdog and soda would run $15 and I still had to travel home - I left with 2 bags of swag and a few meager purchases of books that looked interesting. And a newfound appreciation for short skirts and mohawks.

More from the New York Comic Convention »
4/15/08: Bend Over - The Taxman Is Here To Screw You What could be better on a Spring-like day in April than being bent over and fucked by the U.S. Taxman? Hell, nothing!!
Every year the middle class works hard so the government can steal an exorbitant portion of our earning to fund such endeavors as maintaining fake wars, subsidizing billion dollar oil companies and ruining the healthcare & financial industries.

I hope all you morons who voted TWICE for George Bush (our uneducated, drug-addled Head of State) are pleased with yourselves. I'm not sure if a great skate session could even push away the despair of another 4 years of Republican rule.
4/11/08: She Skates? Resurgence of the Spiraling Girl's Market Last summer CCS (the mail order company) started a catalog for girls. As one would expect, they didn't seem to know much about girls and skateboarding. Yeah, it was supposedly a skate catalog. It consisted mainly of pink shirts and any skate hardgoods with a similar color scheme.

At the start all their printed catalogs and e-mails featured girls in bikinis. I'm down with that, but what's the connection to skateboarding. Then they had the bikini-clad chicks holding skateboards. Nice try - no sale. Finally, they realized that girls don't wear bikinis when skating and probably don't want to buy a new bikini from a skateboard retailer. Hence, their ads continued minus the t&a. A blow to the guys reading their catalog.

Today, along comes this little hottie in an e-mail from Active Mailorder touting a free towel offer with bikini purchase. I guess the free towel will come in handy when she's all sweaty from skating around in her new bikini. There has to be some connection to skateboarding, right? (give her a click to for the full article)

Let's face facts, this chick has never set foot on a board and probably doesn't even know this ad is for a skateboard mail order company. Don't get me wrong, she's cute and can ride my ramp any day, but this sort of ad sends a really bad message to girls. This image currently comes up on the Active Mailorder Girl site.

Are girls who skate supposed to go buy a bikini or heap on the right makeup to look like this woman? Skateboarding is about skateboarding and retailers who want to build up a girl's market shouldn't dilute their skate brand with bikinis and skirts. If they can make a buck - cool. But don't think that this woman offers any iconic value to skateboarding.
4/1/08: Don't Believe the Hype Face it. Without a doubt one of your friends will contact you today with some alarming news, freak you out and then yell, “April Fools!”
Beat ‘em to the punch and call them first... “Hey dude, the town is closing the skate park... and your car's on fire!”

March 2008

3/27/08: Party Hardy... but Tony ain't coming From six-year-old kids who want Tony Haw to come to their birthday party to nineteen-year-old frat-boys who want Jenna Jameson to come to their drunken booze-fest... I have bad news. It ain't gonna happen. Celebrities have better things to do unless you have Cancer, then they might show up briefly.

Now that I think about it I'd love to have Tony AND Jenna come to my next birthday party. So anyway...

If you're a skater and you can't get over the Birdman ditching your apple-bobbing clown-infested birthday party, do the next best thing. Ensure that every item at your party is festooned with "Tony Hawk" crap. How does that happen, you ask? Order up the Boom Boom HuckJam Party Pack containing: 8 dinner plates, cups, forks, spoons, activity placemats, 16 napkins, solid-color tablecover, centerpiece, mylar balloon, 24 balloons (2 colors), crepe paper rolls (2 colors), curling ribbon (2 colors), confetti, cake candles and thank-you notes.

You can even got the extra distance and get the Boom Boom HuckJam Favor Boxes containing: assorted glow stick, Pop Rocks candy, laser spinner, Boom Boom HuckJam sticker sheet, skateboard keychain and tattoo.

After such an event, how many fucking friends do you think you'll have? I'm guessing zero (unless you're under the age of 6). Plan carefully or you're going to look like an idiot. And here's a tip for parents: Don't surprise your fourteen-year-old son with a Boom Boom pack of any of this crap. His friends will turn violent and wreck your house. Be age appropriate, not moronic.

February 2008

2/15/08: Publicity for Skeightfast Dyephun Victor Giannini, creator of the skate comic Skeightfast Dyephun, has asked me to do publicity for his comic. The goal is to get it into the hands of every living (dead's OK too) human. If you don't own it... get off your ass and place an order. You'll thank me later - it's that good!

January 2008

1/7/08: Paddle the flats? The folks at Kahuna Creations have taken the "stand-up paddling" concept from the waters of Hawaii and adapted it for longboarding on land. They're calling it The Big Stick.

From the Kahuna website... "The idea is to paddle the same way you would a stand-up paddle in the ocean, with long, full strokes. Not only does the Kahuna Big Stick provide a great upper body and cardio workout, it helps save the knees and feet from the constant kick of pushing a longboard. Kicking for long periods of time could put stress on the ankle, whereas upper-body-powered paddling is a great workout, and doesn't wear you out nearly as fast, which ultimately allows a longer, more enjoyable ride."

The question remains, will skaters want to "paddle" as opposed to push their longboards. I can see a number of advantages to "paddling" the flats, but the price is a bit steep for my taste - my feet are free. It's about the same price as an inexpensive longboard. On the other hand it looks like a cool idea that might be fun and will certainly garner interest and comments from those who see you paddle by.
It could also be used as a lance. Once you're up to speed, give someone a nice hard jab with it.
1/1/08: Happy New Year Start the year off right. Make a resolution then forget them over a few beers.

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