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The Oscars 2006 - Skateboarding Gets Robbed Again

There’s really no good reason to watch award shows, especially the Oscars. Do the best films win? Do the best actors and actresses win?

No!

Actually, I usually fall asleep about 10 minutes into these things and wake up wishing I’d skipped the whole thing and watched a sk8 video instead. Speaking of which, why aren’t skateboard films ever given any recognition? I think it’s time that the fossils behind the Academy Awards get with the program and recognize the importance of skateboard media.

If Skateboarding Invaded the Academy Awards

And the real winners are...

Award	Went to...	Should Have Been..
Best Picture	The Departed	Bag of Suck
Best Director	Pan’s Labyrinth	Mark Gonzales: Krooked Kronichles
Best Actor	Forest Whitaker	Deawon Song
Best Actor in a Supporting Role	Alan Arkin	Mike Vallely
Best Actress	Helen Mirran	Elissa Steamer
Best Actress in a Supporting Role	Jennifer Hudson	Lynz Adams Hawkins
Best Cinematography	Pan’s Labyrinth	1^st & Hope
Best Animated Feature	Happy Feet	Boom Boom Sabotage
Best Short Film (animated)	The Danish Poet	Ed Templeton’s work: Suffer the Joy
Best Film Editing	The Departed	Cheese & Crackers
Best Visual Effects	The Departed	Thrasher’s Shotgun
Best Short Film (live action)	West Bank Story	Rob & Big
Best Documentary Feature	An Inconvenient Truth	Rising Son
Best Documentary Short Subject	The Blood Of Yingzhou District	Drive: Notes From the Wilderness
Best Costume Design	Marie Antoinette	Hillbilly Dream Tour
Best Music	An Inconvenient Truth	Bleed For Me

The lesser known (or cared about) awards...

Award	Went to...	Should Have Been..
Best Dressed	Penelope Cruz	Jim Greco
Worst Dressed	Nicole Kidman	Lizzard King

It’ll never happen, but I think skateboard media should be acknowledged at a higher level and The Oscars should be lampooned.

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